Since Jenny has been gone, some days are better than others, but there haven't been any days that are pain free. I miss her from the time I wake-up till the time I go to bed, and everything in between. I think about her pretty much all the time, and when one second goes by when I don't think about her, I get this sudden anxiety and fear that I have forgotten her. The thoughts rush through my head about all things I haven't done for her. Like not giving her a bath, not feeding her, wondering if she needs a diaper change. All the things that I was doing for her when she was alive. Then....REALITY! SHE'S NOT HERE! and I go through the same feelings I had the second I knew she had died.
It's a sick cycle. I try to distract myself, but that has proven to be very difficult. I hope that I will find peace with Jenny not being here sooner than later...
I am so sorry for your loss!! Loosing a baby is such a hard road to travel. I lost a son in Oct 2008. He was also 5 months old he had a neuromuscular condition. Im happy to chat if you want. Sending much love and hugs your way!!!
ReplyDeletethank you for your kind words. i'm sorry for your loss as well. i'm sorry that you know how i feel. i would like to keep in touch with you. heres my email mrs.palmateer@yahoo.com i'm also on facebook.
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